Sequel to TREVOR PHILLIPS SERIES:
by Howl of a Werewolf
Summary: Not much to say
1. Chapter 1

**I am good friends with RedRose.. And she said I was allowed parodying her stories..So before I begin, here's how the characters are meant to be protrayed as, so those whoTREVOR PHILLIPS SERIES will remember..**

TREVOR PHILLIPS: Like the real Trevor he is shown to be borderline insane. But UNlike the real Trevor. He is also shown to be a complete idiot (maybe even more than Michael), and seems to act as if he's a disobedient teenager. He is also known to break the fourth wall on several occasions, as is Michael.. And he has a very unhealthy obsession towards the band ANDREW WK, and would literary "kill" anyone who talks trash about the band.

MICHAEL TOWNLEY: In most senses he appears to be an complete idiot, but he can actually show rare moments of intelligence.. Either way. His humor usually comes from a lack of common sense. Example, he accidentally killed baby Carly cause he believed "If I shake it enough times, it would stop crying".. But it's mentioned Amanda re-had the baby, and renamed it Carly, so nothing got changed.. Like Trevor, he is way more immature then the real Michael. And acts like a disobedient teenager, instead of a professional criminal.

FRANKLYN CLINTON: Just like in the game itself. Franklyn is the most "normal" of the characters. And is a skilled shooter..

PINKIE PIE: Yes, the same Pinkie from MLP.. She's been adopted by Trevor, and becomes his accomplish, and due to his influence, she's become mentally insane herself. Murder means very little to her anymore, as dose "any" crime.. But like the real Pinkie she is still a sweet hearted, loving person. And truly cares about those she considers her friends..

CARLY JADE: Like Franklyn, she's one the only characters, who's not a complete idiot. Witch is odd, cause she develops most of her fathers characteristics. So it's unknown why his "lack of intelligence" wasn't developed into her. But instead, his temper is..

PACKIE MCREARY: Like most (if not all) of the GTA spoof characters. Patrick is displayed as immature and a bit of a idiot. Usually quoting _every_ movie he's ever seen in his life, and treating life and death situations like some sort of video game (a bit ironic really)..

JOHNNY KLEBITZ:  
He started off as the "normal" member of the Lost MC, cause Billy was the main "spotlight". However, when Johnny starts taking the "spotlight" himself, it is soon revealed that Johnny isn't exactly the "brightest light" either, example is when he laughs at Billy being arrested cause of "the look on his face". Another shown during the civil war, where he and Brian argue about who uses more cocaine (cause it's a "totally" has to do with current events). He is hinted to have become even MORE stupid after Ray interrogated him. Cause apparently Ray hit him so hard with the pistol whip, that Johnny lost a few brain cells.

DASH LUCIA: Like Frank and Carly, she holds as one of the few smart ones. Only real difference between her is her constant sarcasm..


	2. Chapter 2

**Small, pre intro.. (not real episode).. Set during a scene from I'M STILL ALIVE.**

* * *

Michael: (Holding gun at a tied up Ivory) I am sick to death of you always trying kill my little girl.. And to make it worse, you kidnapped and tortured her,, Your a fuckin dead man! Nothing will stop me from ending your li-

 _TV: We now return to, "ALL MY PARENTS OFF SPRING"._

Michael: (excitedly) Oh, my show! (runs back over to the tv).

Ivory: Are you serious?

Michael: Shh.. I'm watching tv.

(before long it goes to a commerical break, and Michael goes back to threatening Ivory).

Michael: (repointing gun) Nothing will stop me from ending your life.. (ding sound) Yay, my popcorn is ready (walks into his kitchen and opens the microwave).

* * *

 **End of the pre intro.. Not much, I know**


	3. Chapter 3

**This is where the story REALLY begins**

* * *

Carly: Trevor put the knife down!

Trevor: (holding a knife, and wearing his favourite ANDREW WK t-shirt) Relax.. This will a be over soon.. (points it up menacingly, but it then reveals, he's only cutting a carrot for her).

Carly: (annoyed) I had it handled.

Trevor: Well, you should be careful.. You might stab your hand, (accidentally stabs the knife though his hand).. See, like that.. (long sigh, before begins screaming in agony). GET IT OUT..

Carly: Hang on.. I got to dig it out with another knife.. (stabs a second knife into the stab wound).

Trevor: (angrily) NOW I GOT FUCKIN TWO IN ME!

Carly: Hang on.. Gotta cut around the meat.

Trevor: FUCK THAT!.. JUST PULL IT OUT!

Carly: Okay, okay.. (swiftly pulls the knife out).

Trevor: (gives a full twenty minutes of angry swearing).. (suddenly calm) But seriously, thanks..

Carly: Well.. It's amazing I'm helping somebody who threw me down the stairs last week.

Trevor: Hey.. You can't blame me for that, I didn't know there were stairs there.. Besides, I was still angry over Pinkie's death.

Carly: It's YOUR fault she even died.

Trevor: SHUT UP! I didn't know she had fell behind back at North Yankton.

Carly: You told Franklyn you were happy she died, cause she joined Michael

Trevor: I was angry.. I said a LOT of things.. I loved that little pink pony... She use to brutally murder mailmen for ringing my doorbell.. I was so proud of her.


	4. Chapter 4

Trevor: I'm gonna kill you Johnny!

Johnny: Why!? All I did was walk in, after being invited over.

Trevor: You didn't fuckin bring anything for my birthday!

Johnny: It's your birthday? Well happy birthda-

Trevor: IT'S TOO LATE FOR THAT!

Johnny: Trevor.. Calm down.. Your going on crazy on me!

Trevor: Don't mind if I DO! _(Begins making monkey related noises)._

Johnny: _(realizing the danger Johnny breaks open a case labelled "Break glass in case of Trevor's insanity" and grabs the baseball bat within)_ Stay away from me Trevor!

Trevor: _(Acting like Jack Torrance from The Shining)_ Give me the bat, Johnny.. Gimme the bat.. Come on. Gimme the bat.. Gimme the bat! _(makes scary face)_ Ha ha ha! Scaredy cat! Bleaahhh... _(Makes another scary face, then sees himself in a mirror)_ AAAAAHH!

Suddenly Trevor is hit in the neck by a extermely powerful tranquilizer dart. But somehow is still standing.

Johnny: _(strangely impressed)_ YES!.. That's awesome!

Trevor: What?

Johnny: You just took one in the jugular, man!

Trevor: What? I did. _(feels his neck)_ Oh, my God. I did.

Johnny: You better pull that shit out, man.. I mean. How are you still standing?

Trevor: _(the drug begins taking it's effect on him)_ Wait... What?... Pull what out?

Johnny: The dart!.. You got a fucking dart in your neck, man!

Trevor: ( _laughing)_ You're. You're crazy, man.. I like you.. But you're crazy.

Trevor: _(walking as if he's drunk)_ I need to lay down.. _(suddenly he falls down on his face, and snoring is heard)._

Carly: _(comes in, holding Tranquillizer gun)._

Johnny _: (worried)_ Is he gonna be okay?

Carly: He'll be normal in a few hours?

Johnny: 'Normal' normal? Or Trevor normal.

Carly: Trevor normal... (sighs) I wish I could understand WHY he always has to be like this.\

Johnny: What.. You mean you never seen his commerical?

* * *

 _TV COMMERICAL:_

 _Trevor: (sitting on a long chair, beside a fireplace) Hi, I'm Trevor Phillips! And as you may know, I am totally and completely INSANE! (deranged chuckle)... I like to yell at mice with my shirt off!_

 _[Cut to Trevor on all fours, shirtless, and literary screaming at a small mouse]_

 _Trevor: (sitting on a long chair, beside a fireplace) Sometimes, I like to steal other people's scabs!_

 _[Cut to a man standing at a bus stop with a visible scab on his knee. Trevor comes in, rips the scab off the man's knee, and runs down the street holding it high in the air and screaming the entire way down]._

 _Trevor: (sitting on a long chair, beside a fireplace) How do I stay so crazy!? [Holds up a bottle of pills] Trevor Phillips's Crazy Pills!.. Take one with breakfast! One with lunch!.. And before you know it, you'll be up on your roof, pooping in the chimney!_

 _[Cut to Trevor sitting on top of a chimney]_

 _Trevor: [Calling down] Hold out your stockings, kids!_


	5. Chapter 5

**Having this set in the AFTER trevor phillips series doesn't actually seem to make to much sense.. So it's instead set DURING the series.. Only difference is, Trevor is already with them, when they prepared to rob the jewelry store.. So the who hunt for Michael happened already..**

 **Anyway.. Guess it's only fair to have Pinkie back in this story, sense she isn't dead yet..**

 **This is a crossover version of the same parody..**

* * *

ONE WEEK EARLIER:

Carly: So that's what happened?

Trevor: Yes..

Carly: You went on a walk through the forest at midnight?

Trevor: Yup.

Carly: And you shot thirty-six Alturists.

Trevor: Thirty- _seven_.

Trevor: Now... If you don't mind, I've got things to do.

Carly: What "things"? You don't do "things".

Trevor: Yes, I do. I take enthusiastic walks through the woods.

Carly: And kill homicidal cults?

Trevor: VERY enthusiastic walks.

* * *

PRESENT TIME:

Carly: So that's what happened?

Trevor: (tied up) Yes! That's what happened.

Carly: You went for one of your walks?

Trevor: Yes.

Carly: And than you broke into the house, trying to kill Johnny?

Trevor: Yes! Yes! As if I didn't just go though explaining this!

Carly: ... You NEED to stop going on walks.

Trevor: (angrily) And YOU need to hurry up and untie me!

Carly: Naw.. I think I'm going for a drive.. (leaves him in the room, tied up).

Travor: CARLLLY!

CArly: (blasting loud music) SORRY! CAN'T HEAR YOU!

* * *

MEANWHILE AT DOLLAR PILLS:

Packie: (holding gun at cashier lady) Don't _panic room,_ I don't want to _William hurt you._ I only want your _Tango & Cash_. So just _Pay it forward_.. And we're all be. _Happy Gilmore_!

Cashier: (confused) What?

Connor: Just give him the fuckin money!

Cashier: Okay.. Okay.. (opens the cashier, giving the money to the thieves).

* * *

Packie: You don't have a car!? I thought everybody in this town had a car!?

Connor: Give me a break.. I'm new at this.

Packie: (sees Carly) Hey Fräulein!

Carly: What?

Packie: We got ourselves into a bit of a jam here.

Carly: I can see that.

Packie: Breeze your crate away from these hoosegow jobbies, and we're split half our G's!

Carly: ... What?

Packie: We're here for hustling! we need to escape these pigs, so we can peacefully focus on how swag this bling looks!? And the amount of G's that we're be tripping up for our hood!

Carly: What are you saying!?

Connor: He wants you to drive us away from the cops, and were give you some of our take.

Carly: Oh, okay.. Sure.. Hop in.

Packie: (speaking normally) Yo! This kid's alright.. Let get out of here!


	6. Chapter 6

**And now... We re-introduce, everyone's** **favourite 'moron'.**

 **Spoof Michael Townley..**

 **(audience cheers).**

 **For those who don't know him, please read the ORGINAL Trevor Phillips Series..**

* * *

Michael: Alright Lester.. I'm inside. Why do I need these glasses?

Lester: (voice) For the 20th time.. They have a camera inside them.

Michael: Ahh.. So you can take pictures of me shopping for diamonds?

Lester: (voice) No idiot..I need pictures of the security and vents.

Michael: If only we brought a camera, right?

Lester: (voices) We DID bring a camera, stupid.. I just told you.

Michael: I'm confused.

Lester: (voice is getting angrier) There's a camera on your fuckin glasses, Michael!

Michael: And why would I need a camera on my glasses?

Lester: (voice) Just tell me you see the vents and security code?

Michael: Yeah.. Not hard to miss them, Lest.

Lester: (voice) Now take the picture.

Michael: How?

Lester: (voices) there's a camera!

Michael: On what?

Lester: (voice is screaming) THE GLASSES!

Michael: Ohh.. Okay. (takes the pictures and it sends to Lester).

Lester: (voice) Good, now speak to the worker.

Michael: (goes to the female worker) Hey lady.. I'm gonna be robbing this place later, _(lester groans annoyedly)_. So tell me, are these glass cases easy to break.

Girl: (thinks he's joking) funny sir, funny.. But I suppose, yes.

Michael: And are the diamonds real?

Girl: Of coarse they are, sir.

Michael: Alright.. Thanks baby.. I better go now. (leaves).

Lester: (voie) Let's hurry up.. We're on the clock here.

Michael: Sure, just a sec.. (goes to hot dog stand) One of them please.

Hot dog guy: What you want on it?

Michael: ... Hmm.. Good question.

Lester: (voice is annoyed) Oh my GOD!

Michael: What do you think is recommended?

Hot dog guy: Probably our new type of ketchup.

Michael: I'll have that then.

* * *

DRIVING:

Michael: (mouth full) This is really good.

Lester: (annoyed) Can you just drive us back to the office?

Michael: Sure thing wheel.

Lester: Don't call me wh-

* * *

Lester: Alright Carly, with Michael being... Well. Michael.. I decided it's smarter leaving the decision making to 'you'.. What should we do.. Play it smart?.. Or go in loud and dumb?

Carly: Hmm.. Playing it smart sounds less risky.

Lester: Alright.. But your have to get things ready.

Carly: Sure.


	7. Chapter 7

OUTSIDE THE DIAMOND STORE:

Carly: Alright Franklyn, you got the gas?

Franklyn: Sure do.

Carly: Good, prepare to reach the roof once this guard leaves.. It seems safer than just bursting in.

Michael: Burst in!?

Calry: No, don't burst i-

Michael: (along with Packie) LET'S BURST INNN!.. _(the two of them stupidly burst wait into the front door, armed with guns and ski masks, ruining everything)_.

Carly: _(sighs)_ Please tell me I was adopted.

* * *

Michael: _(dramatically bursts into the said jewelry store, wearing ski mask, and holding Carbine rifle)_ YOUR BEING FUCKIN ROBBED!

Packie McCreary: _(also with ski mask and Carbine rifle)_ Yeah! On the fuckin floor!

Michael: Yeah! This is your moment! Please don't make us waste all the hard work your plastic surgeons have done. ON THE FLOOR! NOW!

Carly: _(voice speaking to Frankyln)_ Michael only went and got himself killed.. Again.

Michael: I can hear you kiddo.

Carly: (voice) Well, you ruined the plan.

Michael: You want me to come back then?

Carly: _(voice is sarcsatic)_ No I don't.

Michael: Then why are you so ups-

Carly: _(voice is screaming)_ JUST GET THE DIAMONDS!

Packie: _(confused)_ Diamonds!? What Diamonds!?

Carly: _(voice is screaming)_ OH MY GOD!

* * *

Michael: _(approaches worker)_ You! Fill this bag with clean, unmarked diamonds!.. But first, fix that notepad so it's at a right angle with the corner of your desk!

Packie: And tap that pile of receipts against a flat surface so they're not sticking out haphazardly!

Michael: Okay, you know what., Fuck the money, everybody grab a broom, were gonna tidy this place up!

* * *

A FEW HOURS LATER:

All the hostages finished cleaning the diamond store.

Michael: There? That wasn't so hard now was it?

Michael: too bad it was for nothing.. _(He and Packie start breaking the glass cases to steal all the diamonds)._

Michael: Man, I haven't been this excited since I passed second grade!

 _FLASHBACK ONE:_

 _(Michael is a little boy, chasing invisible butterflies in the background._

 _Principle: I'm sorry Mrs Townley, your son will have to redo second grade._

 _FLACKBACK TWO:_

 _(Michael is a young teenager in the back)_

 _Principle: I'm sorry Mrs Townley, your son will have to redo the second grade._

 _FLASHBACK THREE:_

 _Principle: Good job Mr Townley you passed the second grade._

 _Michael: (now an adult) Oh that is fantastic.. Now if you excuse me, I have to go now.. Theirs a crazy Mexican after me, and I have to rob a jewelry store to pay him back._


	8. Chapter 8

SKIPS TO THE MISSION THREE'S COMPANY:

* * *

Carly: Hey guys.. I'll be the pilot.

Michael: Really? I thought Trevor was gonna be flying.

Franklyn: What could that crazy man POSSIBLY be busy with!?

Michael: Who knows.. But I'm sure whatever it is, is completely violent and terrifying..

* * *

 _TREVOR'S CARAVAN:_

 _Pinkie: (sitting cutely)_

 _Trevor: (literary training her) Alright.. Where gonna try this one more time.. (extends hand) Gimme paw?_

 _Pinkie: ... (extends her hoof onto his hand)_

 _Trevor: Good.. Now... Other paw._

 _Pinkie: ... (extends 'same' hoof)._

 _Trevor: (annoyedly) No, 'other' paw!_

 _Pinkie: ... (again extends the same hoof)_

 _Trevor: (getting angry) For god sakes, we practiced this! Your gonna make me look bad in front of the others!_

 _Trevor: other paw.._

 _Pinkie: ... (finally extends the right hoof)_

 _Trevor: Finally!_

 _Pinkie: (annoyingly) You know this reminds of the time wh-_

 _Trevor: (deeply annoyed) Shut up!_


	9. Chapter 9

mailman: (knocks on Trevor's Caravan).

Trevor: (bursts though door with loaded shotgun) WHAT DO YOU WANT!

Mailman: (cowering in fear) You got a letter! You got a letter!

Trevor: (calmly takes letter) Thank you god sir, you are a value to mailmen everywhere..

Mailman: That mean you not gonna kill me!?

Trevor: Fine.. I won't kill you.

Mailman: Thank go-

Trevor: Pinkie will..

Mailman: Who-

Pinkie: (suddenly and violently tackles the man, and violent beating sounds and sprays of blood fill the background).

Trevor: (calmly opening letter, making no attempts of stopping her).

Mailman: (screaming horribly).

Trevor: (calmly to pinkie, but not even looking up) Remember to go for the heart.

Pinkie: (off view) Yes boss.. (Ripping sounds)

Trevor: Good girl.

Trevor: (reads letter) Who Martin Madrazo..

* * *

Martin: Ahh. Glad you could joi-... What's with the pony?

Trevor: (petting Pinkie as she's sitting beside him) She's loyal to me okay.. So deal with it.

Pinkie: ... Plus there's nothing on tv.

Martin: Whatever.. Anyway. I need you to kill my cousin., shoot down the jet as he-

Trevor: (excited) Is he coming from Ireland!?.. Is he a leprechaun!?

Michael: (sitting on the other side of the couch, as it's big enough for all three), I highly doubt he's a lepre-

Trevor: (jumps up excitedly) KICK ASS! I never killed a leprechaun before.. You think if I shoot it, it will bleed out lucky charms!?

Pinkie: ... I too am wondering that

Martin: Guys foc-

Michael: Why would a leprechaun have private jet anyway?

Trevor: I don't know.. Maybe he-

Martin: GUYS!

All three: Sorry

* * *

MEANWHILE:

Carly: Sometimes I question who the REAL parent is.. Me or Michael.

Dash: I think I know the feeling.. (points at Packie).

Waitress: Anything to drink sir?

Packie: I'll take a flat water...

Waitress: A what?

Packie: A Voss

Waitress: I don't understand?

Packie: You know?...Voss.. You don't have Voss water?

Waitress: ... We have TAP water?

Packie: What country is THAT from!?

Dash: (annoyed) Just get the damn water Packie.

Packie: Oooo.. Somebody's been taking "bitchy pills".

Carly: Don't make me slap you for her.

Dash: May not be a good idea.. It might _arouse_ him.

Packie: Yeah.. My sister Kate slapped me once... It was 'awkward'.


	10. Chapter 10

Pinkie: (using a huge sniper rifle) I see the plane.

Michael: Good, now be very careful. This is very impo-

Pinkie: (fires) Got it.

Michael: What!?.. (Looks up and sees the plain coming down).. I'll be damned., not bad girl.

Pinkie: (radios Trevor) Boss, the plane is coming down, you in position.

* * *

Trevor: Ready to go! (Starts chasing the plane with a dirt bike).

* * *

 _Plays WAKE UP HATE - KORN as the song in the background._

* * *

Eventually Trevor reached the crashed plane, shot the target and stole the files.

Trevor: I got the files.. Heading to Martin.

Michael: (off view) Okay.. I gotta get ride of this truck and gun.

* * *

Michael: (pours gas on and around the truck then shot the gas with his pistol).

The truck with rifle exploded in a huge blast.

Pinkie: Ohhh.. Pretty, colors.

Michael: Hold on.. How the fuck are we gonna get outta here now.. I can't even remember where I parked..

Pinkie: Not a problem.. Can I borrow you pistol?

* * *

Man: (sitting in his car, reading magazine).

Pinkie: _[pops out of nowhere and holding the driver at gunpoint, by Michael's earlier AP Pistol]_ GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR! GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR!

Man: (screams in fear).

Pinkie: I'M SERIOUS! GET OUT OF THE CAR RIGHT NOW, MAN! _[smashes the window]_

Man: _[screaming]_ : OH, JESUS!

Pinkie: GET OUT OF THE FUCKING CAR!

Man: OH, MY GOD!

Michael: (pull him out of the car, as Pinkie screams violently at the man).

Pinkie and Michael drive off as the man leaves screaming.

Michael: Did we just carjack someone!?

Pinkie: (cutely) We sure did, Mikey. We sure did.


	11. Chapter 11

_Carly: (jumps in-front of Trevor, who points a Shaw off shotgun at Johnny) Trevor! Don't you DARE harm Johnny!_

 _Trevor: Of coarse I won't hurt him.. He'll be dead before the pain is felt by him._

 _Pinkie: That actually makes a lot of sens-_

 _Carly: Shut up Pinkie!.. Why are you even with him?_

 _Trevor: Hey.. She's loyal to me.. Unlike YOU!_

 _Carly: Well, maybe that's because you are always trying kill my boyfriend._

 _Trevor: Name ONE time._

 _Carly: 5 seconds ago you had a gun pointed to his head._

 _Trevor: ... Well.. What if he gets you pregnant!_

 _Johnny: Funny thing.. I think I did._

 _Trevor: (strangely calm) Oh.. Pregnant is she?_

 _Carly: Y -Yes._

 _Trevor: Huh.. Well, good for you two._

 _Carly: Wow.. I'm impressed.. Your handling this very w-_

 _Trevor: (scary voice to Johnny) I'LL KILL YO-_

 _Carly: TREVOR!_

 _Trevor: (normal again) Sorry, sorry... Don't worry, plenty I can do to keep myself occupied.. Maybe I'll check out that axe collection (leaves)._

 _Johnny: (nervously) Pinkie? Is your boss gonna kill me?_

 _Pinkie: Guess we're just wait and see._

* * *

Michael: Was this in Trevor's house or Carly's house.

Pinkie: Really? THAT'S your question?

Michael: Yes, that's my question.

Pinkie: _(is about to answer when Trevor pulls up in Martin's car)._

Michael: The fuck, has happened!? Why do you have HIS car!?

Trevor: Piece of turd eh? No wonder people are stabbing him in the back.

Michael: T!

Trevor: I don't know why you mess around with people like that Mikey, I mean rea-

Michael: Trevor! Answer the fuckin question!

Trevor: I asked for a decent day pay, for a decent day work.. And he... Kinda got a little angry... So I admit. I.. Kinda got a little angry.

Pinkie: ... Did you kill him!?

Trevor: What kinda fuckin animal do you guys take me for!? No I didn't kill him!

Trevor: (reveals Martin's wife tied up in the trunk) But I DID kidnap his wife!

Michael: Oh shit!.. Oh no!.. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO!?

Trevor: I just told you what I just did... Now.. Unfortunately we may have to lay low for a while.. But I got a good spot.. I'll drive


	12. Chapter 12

2 DAY LATER:

Carly: So Franklyn said my dad and uncle Trevor are hiding out in the dessert, cause Trevor pissed of Martin.

Connor: ... You sure we should be out here?

Carly: It's fine, nice and quite.

Connor: Except for the half naked people.

Carly: What!? (looks around and sees 4 Altruists).

Alturist 1: Greeting friends..

Carly: _(sighs)_ Great.. Alturists.

Connor: _(nervously)_ Tell me.. What is your favourite thing to do as a cult?

Alturist 3: Spreading the word and love of Jesus Christ to the many people of the world, teaching peace and love for all!

Carly: And the eating of other humans?

Alturist 1: Oh, just try to fuckin stop us!

Connor: Okay.. Well.. This is getting a little to weird.. We should go.

Carly: Agreed. _(starts leaving)._

Alturist 1: (blocks her path yet) You can't leave.. We haven't sacrificed you yet... _(nervous)_ I mean.. We haven't showed you around yet.

Carly: No thanks.. But the erection your growing from me being this close, is giving me a bad vibe.

Alturist 1: OK, you know what? Fuck it – knife.

Carly: Knife? ( _gets nearly stabbed by a large knife)._

Connor: _(takes out his pump shotgun and shoots the Alturist in the dead, killing him)._

Alturist 2: _(oddly impressed)_ Oh, nice death shot.

Connor: That girl belongs to me!

Altruist 2: Well, aren't you the naughty one?

Carly: _(takes out her AP pistol)_ Don't make me shoot you in the fucking head!

Alturist 2: You got nerve, you crazy protestant bastard?

Carly: I'm a woman.

Alturist 2: Call yourself whatever you want, you crazy protestant bastard.

Carly: You do realize this a great violation to Trevor's agreement.

Alturist 2: And what part would that be?

Carly: The part where your trying to fuckin kill me!

Alturist 2: _(shoots her in the stomach)_ I have no idea what your on about!.. I'm just here doing my job!... Sure beats my job of killing werewolves and leprechauns... I never actually found one but do you think if I cut one open with my knife, it would spill out Lucky Charms!?


	13. Chapter 13

Connor and Carly fell down an edge, after being chased by Alturists.. Connor got shot several times during it.

Carly: Jesus Connor you fuckin fell on me!

Connor: (annoyedly) Hey! I was shot 7 times, what's you excuse!

Carly: (annoyedly) I was shot in the stomach!

Carly: But anyway.. I'll get the med kit before you bleed out.

Connor: (dying) I don't think that's gonna work.

Carly: Why not?

Connor: _(dying)_ I sort of have a hole in my esophagus.

Carly: Wait, then how are you breathing? _(Long silence)_...Connor?... Dammit.. He still owed me 20 dollars.

Alturist: RAMDOM YELLING! (shoots at Carly)

Carly: (runs away).

Alturist: _(realizes she escaped)_ GOD DAMMIT! _(due to this anger he threw down his shotgun as hard as he could, but this caused it to accidentally go off, and the Alturist ended up shooting himself in the face and instantly died)._

* * *

Carly: (tells what happened).

Johnny: Who's Connor?

Carly: You know, Packie's friend?

Johnny: Oh, yeah, him.. We should invite him over.

Carly: We can't.

Johnny: Why not?

Carly: Where you not listening?

Johnny: I did, Altruists shot him.. So why not invite him over?

Carly: ... He's dead.

Johnny: (shocked) Oh my god, what happened!?


	14. Chapter 14

LATER THAT DAY:

Michael: Connor died!?

Carly: (sadly) Yes.

Michael: Did he die peacefully?

Carly: Well, he was shot 7 times, and he felt every second of it as his head was cut open, and fell off a cliff, cracking his skull open, as he continued feeling every moment of it.. Dying slowly.

Michael: That's exactly how _I'd_ like to go.

Carly: Me two.

Michael: How'd they find you?

* * *

Michael: (stomps over to Trevor, grabs the beer he's drinking, and smashes it onto the ground).

Trevor: ... Problem?

Michael: Those fuckin cult friends of YOURS SHOT MY DAUGHTER! It's a damn good thing she and the baby are okay!

Trevor: (jumps up) SHE'S PREGNANT!.. Whose baby is that? Who's the man who did that to her!?

Michael: The biker.

Trevor: Trevor needs to gat that punk ass bitch!... There are three things I love in this world: Kylie Minogue, small dimples, just above a woman's buttocks.

Michael: Beautiful features.

Trevor: And the fear in a man's eye when he know's I'm about to hurt him.

Michael: Well you go near him and I'll break your nec-

Trevor: Yeah? You wanna threaten me? YOU WANNA THREATEN TO ME!? (leaps onto Michael) I'M GONNA MAKE YOU EAT A BOWL OF HUMAN SHIT!... (screams like mad man starts destroying the room for no apparent reason).

(SHORTLY AFTER):

Pinkie: (comes in and sees the guys jumping and making gorilla sounds at each other).

Pinkie: Guys, guys, calm down.

Trevor: Fuck you Michael!

Michael: No fuck YOU Trevor... I don't like you Trevor. I think you're a fake friend.. The sound of your piss hitting the urinal, it sounds feminine. If you were in the wild, I would attack you, even if you weren't in my food chain. I would go out of my way to attack you. If I were a lion and you were a tuna, I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking EAT YOU and then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend.

Trevor: … OK, first off: a lion, swimming in the ocean. Lions don't like water. If you placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that make sense. But you find yourself in the ocean, 20 foot wave, I'm assuming off the coast of South Africa, coming up against a full grown 800 pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends, you lose that battle, you lose that battle 9 times out of 10. And guess what, you've wandered into our school of tuna and we now have a taste of lion. We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated and said 'You know what, lion tastes good, let's go get some more lion'. We've developed a system to establish a beach-head and aggressively hunt you and your family and we will corner your pride, your children, your offspring.

Michael: How you gonna do that?

Trevor: We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. It's not gonna be days at a time. An hour? Hour forty-five? No problem. That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, go back to the sea, get some more oxygen, and stalk you. You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and out-manned.

[pause]

Trevor: Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? Nope.

Pinkie: Guys, what is going on?

Michael: Trevor's naked friends killed my friend Connor, as they TRIED killing my fuckin DAUGHTER!

Trevor: They aren't my friends anymore.

Michael: What did you do!?

Trevor: Okay.. But you can't be mad at me.

Michael: (angrily) _Trevor!_

Trevor: Okay.. First off… I was minding own business.

Michael: (slams fist on table) BULLSHIT!

Trevor: (whining) I was!

Michael: And exactly what happened whilst you were "minding your own business?"

Trevor: So I was just jogging though the forest, and suddenly they Schmucks surrounded me!

 _Alturists: (surround Trevor)._

Trevor: (narrating) One of the shouted.

 _Alturist: GET ON YOUR KNEES!_

Trevor: (narrating) And I replied with..

 _Trevor: (in the story) I'M NOT YOUR MOTHER LAST NIGHT!_

Trevor: (narrating) And they took acceptation to that.

 _Alturists: (Violently open fire, but Trevor finds cover)._

Trevor: (narrating) Buut.. You know how that song and dance goes.

 _Trevor: (in story) AAAAAHHHHHHH! (brutally attacks them)._

Trevor: And I killed all but one of them.

Pinkie: What happened to the last one?

 _(Alturist whimpering and shoots himself in the head.)_

Trevor: PUSSED OUT LIKE A _BITCH!.._ Silver lining? _I can cancel their pay days!_


	15. Chapter 15

SEVERAL DAYS LATER:

Packie: _(both come in at same time)_ Sorry we're late Michael.

Michael: As long as you won't do anything inappropriate like Trevor di-

Trevor: _(offended)_ it's not inappropriate.. It's.. It's..

Michael: It's another one of your fuckin disasters! That's what is!... First you take a hostage, without my cencent!.. And then you start some sort of high school romance with her!.. ARE YOU INSANE!

Trevor: Sh-

Michael: SHE'S A SIXTY YEAR OLD HOUSE WIFE!

Pinkie: Actually.. She's 57.

Michael: Stay outta this Pinkie!.. Your crazy boss here, isn't making my situation any easier!

Franklyn: ( _comes in)_ Hey gu-

Trevor: (to Michael) Ohhh! There's a serprise! I knew it would be about you!.. It always is!

Carly: Hey Franklyn, how your trip?

 _Michael: (to Trevor) I miss my family!_

Franklyn: Not too ba-

Trevor: Oh your full of shit!.. All you did was ignore them, but now that their gone, you miss them!.. Fan-fuckin-tastic!

Michael: Yeah, w-

Franklyn: Hey! HEY! Enough! You brought me here! But if it's just to here you argue. I could of stayed in Los Santos..

Carly: _(sarcatically)_ hello Franklyn.

Michael: Okay. Okay. Me Packie and Trevor will handle the bank.. See if those suits work.

Franklyn: And me?

Lester: You and Trevor's accomplish will handle get away.. (sarcastically) That? Work for everyone?

Everyone: Yep.

Lester: Good.. Carly and me will be the hackers.

* * *

Franklyn: You know.. This is the first time you and I have spent any real time together.

Pinkie: I know. It's weird right?

Franklyn: Yeah.. We should hang out more ofte-

Pinkie: No. I mean, this wait now, is weird..

Franklyn: Ohh... Yeah., Kinda is actually.. But still must be better than your boss.

Pinkie: Fair point.. Espically after I introduced him to Scootaloo.

 _FLASHBACK:_

 _Pinkie: (holding Scootaloo cutely) Boss, this my little friend Scootaloo.. Rainbow Dash and I like to call her Scooty... I been asked to watch her for a bit._

 _Trevor: I see._

 _Pinkie: ... Wanna hold her?_

 _Trevor: Sure, thanks.. (holds Scootaloo)._

 _Pinkie: (looks at her watch for 2 seconds before looking back up) Okay, and now we- OH MY GOD!_

 _Trevor: (accidentally killed Scootaloo within the 2 seconds Pinkie looked away) I'm sorry., I was just petting her, honest.._

 _END FLASHBACK)._

Franklyn: Yeah.. I can see that happening.

Pinkie: Whatever.. Let's use that tractor.. You drive. I shoot.

Franklyn: Are you sure you even know 'how' to sho-

Several Gunmen: STOP THEM! (fire guns)

Pinkie: (kills all of them within a few seconds, with her combat shotgun). Convinced yet?

Franklyn: ... Yes.. Yes I am.

* * *

Trevor: (dramatically bursts in the bank, firing off a round of his shotgun to show everyone that they mean business) TODAY'S GOING ONE OF TWO WAYS, FRIENDS!

Michael: Yeah! Everybody down! Anybody moves and Packie here will blast them!... Now. Who here is the owner?

Manager: (raises up) I am-

Packie: (shoots the manager dead)

Michael: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!?

Packie: You sai-

Michael: Yes! But he was the only one with combination to the safe! Now the whole thing is blown!

Packie: Relax Mikey., I got this.. (opens the safe by using a blow torch, opening it the old fashioned way).

* * *

Packie: Shit! The cops are everywhere!

Michael: It's okay McCreary. We prepared for this.. Put on the suits.

* * *

Trevor: (now wereing the suit and holding a mini gun) Now that we're all dressed up, lets put up some fitting music!

Michael: Oh god, please don't play Andr-

Trevor: TOO LATER!

* * *

Trevor: Time to face the music!

They dramatically burst though the doors, witch begins the fight song **_PARTY HARD - ANDREW WK:_**

* * *

After nearly an hour of dramatic, violent fighting.

Witch involved blowing up cop cars and helicoptures while ripping unlucky enemies into millions of pieces.

Eventually they reached some type of construction sight.

Packie: Fuck! Now they got the fuckin army!?

Michael: Just keep shooting! (tosses a grenade, killing several men at once).

* * *

LATER:

* * *

Franklyn and Pinkie arrived with a large bulldozer, while Pinkie shoot several from the passenger seat.

Franklyn: Guess were shooting our way outta here!

Pinkie: (sarcastically) You don't say.

* * *

While Packie ended up going another direction.

Pinkie and the main three ran into a chicken factory to escape tank fire.

* * *

Army man 1: Man. I am so bored.

Army man 2: Yes.. But those assholes are still out ther- (suddenly Pinkie comes up from behind and slices his throat in the same barbaric fashion as the Walking Dead scene).

Army man 1: HEY! (prepares to shoot her but Pinkie leaps onto him and repeatedly stabs him till he was long dead).

Trevor: (having witnessed the scene) Damn Pinkie.. I if wasn't already trying to get with that Mexican lady. I would fuck the blue streight outta your eyes.

Pinkie: That.. Is oddly flattering.

Michael: (mockingly) Hey love birds.. Can we please just keep moving.


	16. Chapter 16

Carly: Man.. These last few days have been wild.

Michael: Still beats the time we had to have live audience in our house.

* * *

 _Amanda: YOUR PREGNANT!?_

 _Audience: (laughs)._

 _Carly: How is that meant to be funny?_

 _Audience: (laughs)._

 _Amanda: No idea._

 _Audience: (laughs)._

 _Amanda: Where was I?... Oh yes.. (continues screaming at her, not even real words anymore)._

 _Micheal: (comes into view, making the audience cheer loudly about seeing him, as he walks past the arguing girls, and carries on with his morning routine)._

 _Jimmy: (also comes in, oblivious to Carly and Amanda)._

 _Michael: Carly? May I may say something?_

 _Carly: Of coarse!_

 _Michael: ... We're almost out of milk._

 _Audience: (laughs)._

 _Carly: (rolls eyes annoyedly)._

 _Micheal: (opens fridge and sees large amount of pot) Da fuck is shit!?_

 _Jimmy: I.. I can explain._

 _Audience: (laughs)_

 _Amanda: God Jimmy!.. I only have myself to blame. It's not like your father can do anything._

 _Micheal: (sarcastically) Yeah. Because all I did was pull you out of a trash town and into a mansion in Los Santos.. And what do I get!?.. Nothing., nothing but an old picture of you in an old Hooker uniform, that I occasionally masturbate towards._

 _Audience: (laughs)_

 _Jimmy: As do I._

 _Audience: (laughs)_

 _Micheal: (disgusted) OH MY GOD! That's disgusting! That's your mother!_

 _Audience: (laughs and claps)_

 _Jimmy: I'm just being hones-_

 _Micheal: (angrily) Get out! Get out of my house!_

 _Jimmy: Bu-_

 _Micheal: (punches violent hole in wall) I SAID GET OUT!_

 _Jimmy: (runs off in fear)_

 _Audience: (laughs)_

 _Micheal: (after calming down) but serious Amand-_

 _Trevor: (comes into view making anouther loud cheer from the audience)._

 _Trevor: Did somebody say Yoga?_

 _Carly: ... No. Don't think so._

 _Audience: (laugh)_

 _Trevor: Whatever.. So what did I miss.. I hope nobody got Carly pregnant._

 _Michael: (stupidly) Yes.. Johnny Klebitz.. He's staying upstairs._

 _Audience: (laugh)_

 _Trevor: ... Excuse me.. (goes upstairs)._

* * *

 _Johnny wakes up and sees a hat laying on the ground, and reads the sign beside it)_ "Put your head between these two restrained logs and win a free hat".

 _[the camera zooms out revealing two restrained logs hanging from the ceiling]_

 _Johnny: Well, that's a no-brainer._

 _[the camera moves to Trevor, who is ready to cut the ropes that's restraining the logs]_

 _Trevor: Come on, you fat fuck. Do it._

 _Audience: (laughs nervously)_

 _[Johnny, despite knowing how obvious the trap is, stupidly walks to the logs and places his head between them._

 _Trevor: (cuts the rope which releases the logs which crushes Johnny's head]_

 _Johnny: [screams]_

 _Trevor: [laughs himself into tears)_

 _Audience: (falls silent)_

 _[moments later Johnny is sitting in the kitchen with his new hat despite his head being crushed and bloody]_

 _Johnny: Who's laughing now? I got my hat._

 _Audience: (claps uncomfortably)._

* * *

 _Amanda: I don't like this Micheal._

 _Jimmy: Yeah.. Uncle T? Man?_

 _Mixheal: (glares) Jimmy?... Who let you back in the house_

 _Audience: (laughs)_


	17. Chapter 17

Johnny: Hey Carly.. Trevor is coming. He said Martin stopped chasing him and Mikey.

Carly: Oh no.. He's gonna kill you.. Only one thing to do.. (makes phone call).

Pinkie: (voice from phone) Hello?

Carly: Mrs Pie, whatever you do, do NOT let Trevor leave your sigh-

Pinkie: (voice) Actually.. He just left.. Said he was going for a walk.

Carly: NOOOOO!


	18. Chapter 18

_Johhny: Oh no! Carly is in trouble.. I'M COMING!_

 _(Johnny bursts down the door to the room)_

 _Johnny: All right, loony, show me what you got!_

 _(Trevor drives an axe into his back)_

 _Johnny: AHHHH!.. is that the best you can do!? (dies)  
_

* * *

Carly: Johnny?.. Johnny are you listening to me?

Johnny: Oh, sorry, Carly. I, uh, just had one of my _Scrubs_ fantasy moments.

Carly: I hate things that cut away from the story for some bull crap.

* * *

 _Cutaway of Hitler on a unicycle, juggling fish, to_ _circus music._

* * *

Trevor: (chops into room) Heeeere's Johnny! (realizes it's the wrong room) DAMMIT!

* * *

Trevor: (chops into another room) Daaaaavid Letterman! (Again not Carly's room) FUCK!

* * *

Trevor: (chops into another room), (holding a ticking stopwatch), I'm Mike Wallace, I'm Morley Safer, and I'm Ed Bradley! All this and Andy Rooney tonight on "60 Minutes"!

Carly and Johnny: AHH!

Trevor: HAWHA-.. Crap.. My head is stuck..

* * *

Carly: (dials 911) HELP ME! MY UNCLE IS ON A VIOLENT RAMPAGE!

Cop: Oh!.. (hangs up) That's a relief, I thought it was something serious.

* * *

Johnny: Hold it wait there Trevor!.. If you want her! Your have to go though m-

 _TV: We now return to, "ALL MY PARENTS OFF SPRING"._

Johnny: (excitedly) Oh, my show! (runs back over to the tv).

Carly: W -What do want Trevor?

Trevor: (Wearing ANDREW WK t-shirt, and holding fire axe) To STOP that hellspring from ever reaching this earth.. To KILL your baby!

Carly: You could of just used a needle or something.

Johnny: Hey!.. EVERYTHING is better with axes!.. Now!.. Hold still!

Carly: Like he-

Trevor: (kicks her onto ground).. Now!.. (raises axe) I don't want kill you, only your baby.. So hold still.. The slightest mistake can resolve into death, mutilation an- (sees out the window) oh look, they built a new put-put course.

Carly: Uhh.. Sure.. M -Maybe you should try it.

Trevor: How do I know this isn't an distraction!?

Carly: ... Cause it's not.

Trevor: Okay, see you in a bit. (goes outside, driving to the new mini golf coarse, Korn's version of a song from NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS playing from his Budhi truck).

Carly: Quick.. Now's our chance! Let's get outta here!

Johnny: You sure?

Carly: Yes.. It's the right to do.. Like taking out Hitler!

* * *

 _Cutaway to the same scene of Hitler riding a unicycle and juggling fish, as seen earlier. Only this time, Carly enters the scene, kicks him off the unicycle, and punches him out._

 _Carly: [to the viewers] See? We had a plan for that all along!_

* * *

Trevor eventually returned to Carly's house, still blasting the song.

Citizen: (covering ears) IT'S REALLY LOUD!

Trevor: YOU WANT IT LOUDER!? OKAY! (turns it up even louder).

* * *

Trevor: Hey Carly I'm ba- (sees their both gone) FU-

* * *

 **Funny**.. **Despite the title, the original "Trevor Phillips series" ended up focusing more on Michael, far as I remember..** **But** **this one actually DOSE seem to focus on Trevor.**

 **In this version our Trevor dose horrible, HORRIBLE things, but it somehow makes him even _more_ lovable..**


	19. Chapter 19

A FEW DAYS LATER:

Trevor came into Michael's house, as Michael seen watching tv with a zombie like expression.

Trevor: Hey Mikey.

Michael: ... Yeah.

Travor: So family ain't back yet?

Michael: ... Sure.

Trevor: Michael?

Michael: ... Totally.

Trevor: You like kissing dudes don't you?

Michael: ... Totally.

Trevor: Dude! (flips off the tv) Cut that shit out!

Michael: Carly and Johnny are out buying a crib for their baby.

Trevor: (Looking at him in shock) The fuck?!

Michael: ... Witch you did not hear about from ME!

Trevor: Man, your the worst secret keeper ever!

Michael: That's not true.. Think about how long I kept you unaware of Brad's death.

Trevor: BRAD IS DEAD!?

Michael: (long pause)... No

Trevor: You treacherous piece of SHIT!.. Your fuckin dead.. (runs out) YOUR FUCKIN DEAD!

Michael: Trevor! Wait!..

* * *

Pinkie: (outside Trevor's house) Hey bo-

Trevor: (grabs her and throws her in Michael's car, as he drives away).

Michael: Aww.. Crap. (calls Carly from his cell phone informing her that "trevor knows").

Carly: (voice) God Michael, can't leave alone for five minutes!

Michael: Look, we gotta fly over to North Yankton.. Confront him.. It's safer together.

Carly: (surprised) Wow.. This is surprising thought out for you.

* * *

ELSEWHERE:

Trevor: (violently bursts down the front door to a hotel room).

Dash: (scared, as she was watching tv wait near the door) T -Trevor!?.. How did you know I was here!?

Trevor: I tracked your phone.. You should really turn it off more Lucia.

Dash: I guess.. But what do you want!?

Trevor: As you may remember.. My flying licence was removed.. Apparently it's a "crime" to drink and fly.

Dash: It's AWAYS been a cri-

Trevor: Enough talk!.. (grabs her arm) Your flying me to North Yankton.

Dash: But I didn't finish my movie.

Trevor: (pulls her out of room) DON'T CARE!

Niko: (comes in soon after, holding bottle of wine) Hey Dash I found some wi-... (sees Trevor leave with her). HEY! BRING BACK MY NEW WIFE!

Trevor: (off view) WIFE!? YEAH RIGHT!

Dash: He's right.

Trevor: Than I weep for humanity.. I only hope your baby takes YOUR looks, not his.

Dash: Hey, that's uncalled for.

Trevor: Whatever.. Just get in the damn car Lucia!

Dash: (sarcastically) Just saying the word please would go SO far with me.

Trevor: Fine. PLEASE get the car.. Before I smash your pretty little face all over the fuckin wind sheild.

Dash: ... (sarcastically) There? Was that so hard?


	20. Chapter 20

NORTH YANKTON:

Trevor: (gets out of the helicopter with Pinkie).

Dash: (texting Niko that she's fine and will be back real soon).

Trevor: Wait here Dash.. This shouldn't take long.

Dash: Sure.. If you say so.

* * *

 _Inside a snowy graveyard:_

Trevor: Come on Pinkie, dig faster!

Pinkie: (digging with her hooves) Don't pressure me boss!

Michael: (soon arrives with Carly). Hey.. Your wasting your time.

Trevor: Don't try to stop me Michael!.. Pinkie will dig up the grave.

Carly: Why!?

Trevor: Because!.. It's time to discover the truth.

Carly: No. I mean, why'd you drag Pinkie into this!?

Pinkie: I was bored.

* * *

Pinkie: Got it.. (pulls out the tombstone).

Trevor: This is it.. Moment of truth.. ( _opens the coffin, finding Brad's body_ ). AHHHHH! As if I didn't know!... Brad!

Michael: Look... We all do what we gotta do to survive... This THING., It didn't end up the way was suppose to.

Trevor: Oh, and how's that!?.. With Brad in the ground, and me in bars!?... Or both of us in the fuckin coffin!?

Michael: Look.. Brad got shot.. You saw it.. He didn't make it.. I got shot, and did.. That's it!

Trevor: (still angry)

Michael: Hold on.. You really angry, or just making yourself seem louder?

Trevor: I'M REALLY ANGRY!

 _The voice from Spongebob: **BLISTERING FURY!**_

Trevor: You were lying to me Mikey!..

Michael: Look, I'm sor-

Trevor: (raises his pistol) LIER!

Carly: (puts his hands up) Wow.. Wow.. T!

Trevor: Shut up and raise your gun, pussy!

Michael: We can't... the airport took all our weapons!

Trevor: Well.. Guess that just make this that much easi-

The Chinese team appears out of seemingly nowhere.

Trevor: SHIT! RUN PINKIE! (the two make a break for it, leaving Mikey and Carly to enemies).

Chinese soldier: (points AK47 at Michael) Now you di-

Michael: (imitates Max Payne by head butting him, grabbing the gun as he falls, and shoots him dead from the ground).

The other two Chinese soldiers fired at Michael, but Michael dives into cover.

Michael: Can't we do this where the weathers nicer!?

They continue shooting at him, and Carly throws roc distracting them so Michael can shoot them down.

Carly: (runs and grabs the combat shotgun from one of the bodies, and helps Michael in the fight).

Michael: (shooting) I'LL-FUCKIN-KILL-YOU-MOTHERFUCKIN-(not even real words anymore).

* * *

Trevor: (shoots one of the enemies as they make their escape)

Pinkie: (trips and falls over but sadly Trevor didn't see this and unintentionally left her behind).

* * *

Pinkie: (tries getting up, but gasps as one of the enemies holds a Uzzi towards her, ready to pull the trigger.

The gun man: I don't know who you are, but your gonna di-

Suddenly, and out of completely nowhere, their came a dramatic rain of bullets, hitting all over the enemies back and a few times in the back of the head, all from behind, and he fell down dead.

The shooter then reveals himself.

Pinkie: M, Michael?.. Why did you save me? After Trevor and I-

Michael: (helps her up) I know you., you not as bad as Trevor... Besides. I grown to like you.. But just as a friend of coarse.

Pinkie: Well.. I grown to like you to.. But just as a friend.

Michael: Alright then.. I guess it's just us now.

Pinkie: I'm sure Trevor will be bac... Your right. It's just us.

Carly: (hears faded voice) Uh oh.. This isn't over.

Pinkie: What you mean?

Carly: (kicks the Uzzi to her).. I hope you know how to use this.

Pinkie: (picks up the Uzzi and examines it a bit). Ohhh., Your be serprised.

Carly: Then get ready.. They have more where those guys came from.. a LOT more.

* * *

Trevor: LUCIA!.. START THE FUCKIN HELICOPTURE!

Dash: I heard shots.. Everything ok-

Trevor: (jumps in) No time!.. Just fly!

Dash: Wait.. Where's your friend Pinkie?

Trevor: Forget her!

Dash: ... Your unbelievable


	21. Chapter 21

Michael, Carly and Pinkie each used gravestones as cover and they checked ammo.

Michael: (cocks his AK47) Ready girls?

Pinkie and Carly: Ready when you are.

Michael: Then let's do this!

With that they all burst up and so began a huge dramatic battle.

* * *

 _ **(Five finger Dead punch - Wash it away, plays as the fight music).**_

* * *

Most of the kills were done in Max Payne styled slow mo, as they fought their way though the graveyard. Pinkie used an Uzi, Michael used an AK47, Carly an combat shotgun. They killed 100 enemies all together, maybe more.

* * *

(30 minutes of fighting, later, the song ends, as dose the battle).

* * *

Michael: Fuck! Trevor must of stole the car!

Pinkie: Well, we got to think of som-

Suddenly their was a dramatic rain of bullets. Sadly Pinkie took most of it and was killed in action, and Michael and Carly were both severely injured as a few bullets hit him as well. Carly fell and banged her head on a gravestone, falling unconscious, and Michael fell to his knees, in too much agony to check Carly.

Suddenly the chinese forces surrounded Michael at gun point.

Gun man: We got you know bitch!

Michael: (angry) You fuckin killed Pinkie!.. Why would you do that!?

Gunman: You fuckin kidding!? She's been nothing but trouble for us. She even stole all our meth.. But anyway, your coming with us Mr, De Santa.

Michael: Oh yeah, well fuck y- (gets knocked unconscious).


	22. Chapter 22

THE FOLLOWING DAY:

Carly was left behind at the graveyard, and she along side Franklyn met up with Trevor, to confront him.

* * *

Franklyn: Look man. Lester said you have some information on Michael.

Trevor: Michael. Fuck Michael! I hope he's dead.

Franklyn: Look I know that you don't mean that.. Just tell me what happened.

Trevor: ... My friend Ron met these Chinese asshole.. I owed them money.. And they mistakingly, thought Michael was a human being, and kidnapped him.

Franklyn: Yeah.. And now it looks like their holding them somewhere in Los Santos.

Trevor: Yes.

Franklyn: So come on bro!

Trevor: ... Well go fuck yourself!.. You want Michael back, that's YOUR problem.. He's dead to me!.. And chances are.. If and when I see him.. He's gonna be dead, to everyone else as well!

Carly: But Trevor.. They killed Pinkie.

Trevor: (pauses) They did.

Carly: ... The kid saw you as something of a father... Dose that mean nothing to you?

Trevor: Well... I... I'm still not saving Michael.. (walks off) Leave me out of this

Carly: But Trev-

Franklyn: Forget it Jade.. It's _Steve Ogg_ after all.

Trevor: (further angered) WHAT DID YOU FUCKIN SAY!?

Franklyn: I'm sorry, just not a fan of him.

Trevor: WELL FUCK YOU!

Franklyn: Look, I'm so-

Trevor: (points at him menacingly) Your pushing your luck pal!.. (citizen walks past him without saying anything).. What was that!?.. WHAT WAS THAT!?

Citizen: Uhh.. Nothin-

Trevor: (punches him hard enough he dies) Asshole!.. EVERYBODY!.. ASSHOLES!

* * *

Lester: (from other side of Franklyn's phone) What have you learned?

Franklyn: Man, Pinkie is dead and Michael's being held by a Chinese group.. Because of Trevor.

Lester: The irony isn't lost.. I'm sending tracking app to your phone. It's work better the closer you get... Be careful.

* * *

MEANWHILE:

* * *

Michael: (being tortured) I told you! He ain't my G-Lap!

The leader: Don't try to pursuad me, you ain't lovers!

Michael: (angrily) He's laughing at you, you fuckin idiot! Your making a mistake!

Leader: it cost a lot of money to find you.. Then you kill a whole bunch of my men.. Good day, huh?

Michael: (angrily) Yeah, good day!.. GOOD FUCKING DAY TO YOU!

The device Michael is hanging on, is turned on, slowly lowering Michael to a painful death.

Leader: Let's go.. Trevor Phillips isn't coming.

Michael: (scared for one of the few times in his life) Hey. heyheyhey.. LET ME FUCKING DOWN!


	23. Chapter 23

Franklyn and Carly eventually began an aggressive gunfight, both using Carbine rifles. Slowly shooting their way to Michael, eventually finding him.

* * *

 _INSIDE MICHAEL'S HEAD:_

 _A man and Woman are seen laying in bed._

 _Man: Man. For a school teacher you make love good._

 _Woman: It's well Jeff. Its 'you make love well'._

* * *

Franklyn: (yellling at him) Michael! Earth to Michael!

Michael: (snaps back to reality) Huh?... What?

Franklyn: We gotta get outta here.. Take this gun (tosses him a pistol).

Michael: What gu- (it hits him the face as he failed to catch it) AAAHHH!

The gun falls down and accidentally shoots Franklyn in the foot.

Franklyn: AHHHH! WHAT THE HELL MICHAEL!

Micheal: I'm sorry. I didn't see it.

Franklyn: FU-

* * *

 _Please stand by:_

* * *

Franklyn: Alright, here it comes again.. Catch (tosses him the pistol, and Michael catches it this time).

Michael: Tha- (accidently fires it).

Franklyn: (dodges bullet) STOP DOING THAT!

Michael: Sorry.. It was an accident okay.


	24. Chapter 24

**As I remember the only times choosing this version of the heist.. Is after watching the movie PARKER where the bad guys cause a fire, and dress up as firemen to** **steal the jewelry without anyone knowing till after..**

* * *

SEVERAL DAYS LATER:

* * *

The FIB building blew up, as Michael, Carly, Packie and Franklyn waited in the firetruck.

Michael: Yeah! We it up bitch!.. _(screams at passing by citizens)_ YOU HEAR THAT!... IT WAS US!

Carly: (pulls him in) How the hell are you the one being MY parent.

Packie: Yo! He's a blowfish! yeeeah! blowfishing this up!

Carly: What!?

Packie: Yo, yo, yo! 1-4-8-3 to the 3 to the 6 to the 9. representin' the ABQ. What up, Biatch!

Carly: ... You've been watching Breaking bad again haven't you?

Packie: Last season yo!

Carly: Whatever let's just get in uniform.


	25. Chapter 25

Michael and the gang ran into the burning FIB building, pretending to be fireman, ignoring the people standing there.

Everything goes well, till Carly ends up dying in a explosion.

Packie: Oh my god, they killed Carly!

Franklyn: You bastards!

Michael: Guys, chill.. I'm sure she's not TRULY gone.

* * *

 _Meanwhile:_

 _Amanda: (suddenly goes into label) IT'S HAPPENING AGAIN!_

* * *

The rest of gang continues as planned, till Franklyn falls though towards a lower floor, and winds up in a brief gunfight against security. Witch WASN'T part of the plan.

Eventually Franklyn rejoined with the group, and they made it out, ending the heist with success.

* * *

MEANWHILE AT TREVOR'S CARAVAN:

Dash: _(groaning)_ Why am I still here?

Trevor: Maybe I don't like being alone okay.. Especially now that Pinkie is gone.

Dash: I'm not _babysitting_ you Phillips.

Trevor: Yes you are.. You don't know how to get back to Los Santos. nor are you stealing my truck, without out a bullet though your chest.

Dash: And yet. You wonder WHY nobody likes you.

Trevor: I know.. Guess I'm too nice.

Dash: ... (sarcastically) Right.

Dash: (sighs and sits on couch).

Trevor: Hey, relax on your OWN time.. Ron spotted more Alturists coming our way.

Dash: I'm sure their never find u- (suddenly a bullet breaks the window, scaring her).

Voice: WE SHALL BE FREE ONCE MORE!

Trevor: _(grabs AP Pistol from his table)_ FUCK OFF! _(shoots at them and kills one)._

Dash: _(Takes out her trademark Browning and shoots at them as well, killing one of them as well)._

Dash: I thought these guys worked for you!?

Trevor: They did.. But I never told them to attack Carly and Connor.. And then they tried robbing me for no reason., Oh well.. Probably be doing the entire world a favor. (keeps shooting).

Alturist: It'll take more than th- _(Ron comes with a large MG gun)_ Oh, crap.

Ron makes short work of them, and the battle ends before it began.


	26. Chapter 26

THE FOLLOWING DAY:

* * *

Trevor's Budhi is seen driving though the Sandy Shores, Ron in the back, and Dash in the passenger seat.

Trevor: _(about the car in front of him)_ Oh look at this dumb Denise In The round ford here!... HEY HOOTERS! WHY DON'T YOU USE YOUR TURN SIGNAL FOR ONCE HOW BOUT!?

Dash: I still don't like this Trevor.

Ron: Me either.. It's risky.. Even for you.

Trevor: Shut u- (sees black truck full of alturists) THERE THEY ARE!.. (drives after it, and plays _ANDREW WK - GET WET_ on the truck speakers).

Ron: Oh, not this band ag-

Trevor: (enraged) DON'T YOU FUCKIN QUESTION ANDREW WK!

Ron: Okay! Okay!

* * *

Before long Trevor followed them all the way to their base, and grabs Gernade Launcher and gives it to Ron, and then grabs second Gernade Launcher for himself, and gives Dash MG gun).

 _(Again he plays ANDREW WK - PARTY TILL YOU PUKE)._

Trevor: RISE AND SHINE MOTHERFUCKERS (shoots rocket, blowing one of the buildings).

As you can imagine all the Alturists started running over, all armed.

Trevor: _(sarcastically to Dash)_ Any time you ready to shoot is fine with me!

Dash: _(trying to get the gun ready_ ) Don't pressure me!... _(opens fire, killing a good many of them)._

Trevor: _[Laughing]_ Removed from the gene pool.

* * *

Trevor and Ron continued blowing up all the buildings, destroying the base.

Trevor: _(yells at the Alturists)_ So we are clear, you look like a tit!.. and not even a NICE one!

Trevor: _(shoots again)_ All! Of! You! Are! Going! To! Die!

* * *

Before long the entire village is blown up, and all the Alturists laying dead.

Dash: NOW will you take me friggin home!?

Trevor: _(sighs)_ Fine


	27. Chapter 27

A FEW WEEKS LATER:

* * *

Michael: Thanks for the drive.

Franklyn: The timing was good.. Carly was a bit stressed.

* * *

 _Carly: YOU HAD ME KILLED!_

 _Michael: Yeah.. But you came back in cartoonishly fast amount of time.. Look, Johnny even got you pregnant again._

 _Carly: Still!.. Fuck you!.._ _I dream of the day when medical science will allow me to be shrunk into a microscopic size, and injected into your spinal fluid. Once there, I will travel in a miniature sub, through your body, and into your brain meat. Then I will take a pill that will allow me to grow into a normal size, exploding your skull bone, and rendering your body into a pink mist!_

 _Michael: ... So.. That a yes or no on the pizza?_

* * *

Michael: See that.. Maybe that's why were such good friends. We look old fashioned things.. Like news papers... Good guys.. Bad guys.

Dave: We're friends?

Michael: I don't know.. You tell me..We did what you said. Right? Got those people off your back? Now, you're gonna do like you said and cut me loose. Right?

Dave: Things aren't gonna work out quite that way. There's a bit of a problem _..._

Steve: (appears out of the blue) That's right, Davey boy! You could say that!

Dave: (annoyed) Steve! I told you I would handle it!

Steve: Oh because you handled everything so fuckin well far!

* * *

U.L Paper Contact: (arrives with the IAA) Put the weapons down fellas! Fun time is over!.. We got ya now!

Michael: Wait, your that guy from the forth game.

U.L. Paper Contact: Yes, thanks for remembering me..

FIB: (Comes in, armed to the teeth) Hold it right there! This is our bust!

Steve: _(annoyed)_ Son of a pork-eatin' MOTHER!

U.L. Paper Contact: Hey, Fuck off, we were here first!

FIB: Yeah, well, fuck you.

Zombiewood's Sgt Buzz: (appears) Excuse me.. Anyone wanna join my train?

Michael: Fuck off Buzz! Nobody fuckin cares about fuckin Zombiewood anymore!

Steve: Yeah. That's not even a real gun.

Buzz: Yes it is.. _(fires it into the air to prove it's real gun)._

U.L. Paper: _(misunderstanding this for an attack)_ SHOTS FIRED!

Buzz: No, I was just making a poi-

U.L. Paper: (shoots down Buzz, killing him).

L.S.P.D: FREEZE!

U.L. Paper: Fuck off pigs!

Steve: Look, everybody just calm do-

The Chinese team from earlier: We're here for Michael..

Steve: Well get in li-

Marryweather chopper: Put the weapons down! Gentlemen!

FIB: WHO THE FUCK ARE THEY!?

Steve: Fuckin Marryweather!

Michael: (sarcastically) Someone should may as well call the army at this point.

Army: NOBODY MOVE!

Michael: ... I should of guessed.

Dave: Steve.. Put the gun down.

FIB soldier shoots Steve.

Steve: AHH! SAME GOD DAMN LEG! _(shoots and kills Andreas Sanchez for betraying Steve)._

* * *

Michael: _(shoots down U.L. Paper)_ You define everything wrong with this city!

* * *

 **The battle continues in next chapter..**


	28. Chapter 28

A cop is seen being dramatically sprayed with bullets before falling dead.

Michael: (holding Carbine rifle, and calmly singing the lyrics of _Everything Is Awesome_ will shooting down whoever got in his way).

Michael: (speaks into radio) Yo Davey! This is awesome!.. The idea of death being at any mere second is amazing.. I feel like I just had sex with Britney Spears BEFORE her mental freakout.

Chinese soldier: 不聞不若聞之!

Micheal: (calmly shoots him dead) (to Dave) I'm so happy!

* * *

Trevor: Hey! If anyone's gonna kill you old friend! It's gonna me!

Michael: Ohh! You here to finish the job T!?

Trevor: No, no, no.. I'm just here for the oppunity!.. Now run!

* * *

Michael: T! You got the vantage point! Give Dave a hand!

Trevor: This is the guy that Iced Brad.. And would of iced me!.. I'll be better off putting my sights on him!

Michael: Don't be an idiot!.. Most of the guys after me are because of you!.. And we need Dave alive!

Trevor: _(screams angry Gibberish)_

Michael: Hey! Leave Carly out of this!

Trevor: Lttiguy Hittigit thittagee addagalitigarm clidigock!

Michael: Yes.. I know about the baby..Just leave it alone!

Trevor: whibich wibould sibound libike thibis!

Michael: YOU WATCH YOUR FUCKIN MOUTH!


	29. Chapter 29

Carly came home to see Johnny laying unconscious, and Trevor looking out the window and tried attacking Trevor.

Trevor: Hey.. Hey.. I just came to apologize for being a jerk.

Carly: But Joh-

Trevor: Did that too himself.. He won one of scratch and win things, and while celebrating he banged his head.

Carly: Oh please. Even Johnny isn't THAT stupid.

Trevor: I'm serious.. Check the security tape.

Carly: Fine.. _(checks the_ _security tape and Johnny really DID do what Trevor said he did)._

Trevor: Told you..

Carly: Fine.. So.. Apologize you say.

Trevor: Yes.. I was on a calm walk though the woods.. _(is seen attacking joggers with a_ _machete).._ And decided to stop being your villain.

Carly: But your so good at it!.. Your the villain in every story involving me!

Trevor: Well.. I don't want you to kill me one day.

Carly: _(hiding_ _crossbow behind her back)_ Of coarse I won't kill you.

Trevor: Anyway.. Here's some back pain pills, your probably need them.

Carly: That says abortion pills.

Trevor: ... No it doesn't.

Carly: Yes it dose.

Trevor: ... (leaves).

Johnny: (groans as he wakes up).

Carly: Banged your head again.

Johnny: Yes all I remember was doing one of those scratch and wins. Looked down, and th- _(sees he won)_ I WO- _(bangs his head on the same spot he did earlier, and again falls unconscious)._

Carly: _(groans annoyedly)._


	30. Chapter 30

Michael and Trevor and inside the old Foundry. Trevor armed with a MG and Michael with a sniper rifle. But both of them are awkwardly just standing, not sure what to do.

Trevor: (looks at the viewers and realizes the scene has started). Oh. Uhh. (aham).. This is it Michael. I'll big fight against both FIB and Marryweather, and you bringing, a rifle!?

Michael: Yeah. I'm bringing a rifle.. It's a good gun. it'll get the job done..

Trevor: In your dreams!

Michael: That's what I say to Jimmy when he claims Carly and tracy strangled there OTHER sister.. It was just a dream... I really regretted dropping him as a baby..

Trevor: Big deal.. My dad dropped ME as a baby and i turned out... something... (looks around) Where the hell am I?

* * *

Franklyn: Yo! What the fuck am doing trying to save you guys, if you's just gonna kill each other!

Michael: Hey! You ain't saving me! Your saving him!

Trevor: No your saving THIS, fat! Fuck!

Franklyn: Yo. you need to cut this shit out, other wise I'll put a bullet in BOTH of you

* * *

Lamar: (on walky talky) I think they coming for you homey!

Franklyn: You hear that you two.. Now lets get ready for some "fun".

Trevor: Your right.. (pulls out the MG gun) I don't know what I'm YELLING ABOUUT! (begins shooting at FIB units, and the battle begins).

* * *

FIB guy: (being shot at) I HATE monday's! _(canned laughter)_.

* * *

Michael: (shooting his Carbine rifle) Can we get some pizza after?

Trevor: I think I saw some down the road.

Michael: Me too.. It was pizza hut.. Lets hope they still serve cheese crest.

Trevor: Oh I LOVE cheese crest!

Michael: (guns down one of the FIB guys) I know.. You can eat it in REVERSE!

Frankyln: ARE YOU REALLY DOING THIS WAIT NOW!?

Michael: Just for that, your not coming!

Trevor: Yeah you fuckin buzzkill!


	31. Chapter 31

Frankyln blew up the car holding most of the Chinese guys.

Only ones left were the leader, and the Sgt who took out Pinkie:

The leader: Yo! What the fu- (gets dramatically shot in the head and killed at the spot).

The Sgt: Man... Thank god that wasn't me!

Frankyln: Hahaha.. (points the gun) Your next!

The Sgt: WHAT THE HELL DID I DO!?

Franklyn: (angrily) Remember Pinkie!

The Sgt: Can't you take a joke!?

(long silence).

Franklyn: (shoots the Sgt in eye, like Niko dose to Vlad).

Voice: You kicked his ass kid!

Frankyln: (looks over) Michael!? I thought you were getting my 'friend' stretch?

Michael: I got Packie to get him.

* * *

Stretch: I am TOTALLY gonna betray Franklyn and Lamar, even though we grew up together.. Just makes it more fun that wa-

Packie: (holding double barrel shotgun). Yo Stretch..

Stretch: What do you wa- (gets a shotgun blast to the face, killing him).

Packie: Huh.. That was eas-

Voice 1: Oh my god! He killed Stretch!

Voice 2: The basterd!

Packie: (makes a run for it, but gets shot at, and has to run to cover).

Packie: Guess were doing this.. Time for some music!

* * *

 _Plays LINKIN PARK - ONE STEP CLOSER as Packie makes short work of his enemies._

 _The battle ending rather quickly, with Packie unharmed._

* * *

Packie: (looking at the corpses) Done and done.

Packie: (radios Franklyn) Hey Frank.. Your pal Stretch ain't a problem no more.

Franklyn: Shit.. He weren't my pal, he was dude that jumped us homey.. Thanks.


	32. Chapter 32

LATER THAT SAME EVENING:

* * *

Michael: (walking towards the farris wheel).

Michael: (on phone) Why do "I" have to be the one to take out Steve Heines?

Trevor: (off view) Because, Packie took out Stretch, so you need a new target... Other wise your missing out in the fun.

Micheal: Wow.. I actually agree for once.

Trevor: (off view) exactly. So cheer up.

* * *

Steve: (looking paranoid) Stop pointing it so fuckin close to my fuckin face!

Cameraman: I'm sorry. Okay.. But it's a small space up here. I can't go much further than this.

Steve: Fuckin excuses!.. But whatever.. Just don't go any closer than that.

* * *

Steve: (still looking paranoid) Hi, this is Steve Heines, and...

Camaraman: (goes closer).

Steve: (violently grabs for him, but the guy dodges) GET THAT FUCKIN CAMERA OUTTA MY FAC- (accidentally falls off the farris wheel).

* * *

Michael: (still on phone) What makes you so sure he's even her-

Steve: (falls down breaking his neck and laying dead wait front of Michael).

Michael: Huh... That works.

Trevor: (from phone) What works?

Michael: N- Nothing... Just call me when you got Devin.

* * *

THE NEXT MORNING:

Trevor: (drives to Weston's house, rocking out to the chorus of "I get wet - Andrew WK" on his speakers, using one of his many albums by them).

Gunman: Do you hear tha- (he and the gunman beside him both get ran over).

Trevor: (jumps out holding hunter knife).

A gunman reaches for gun but Trevor ran over and cut through his stomach, and tore a huge hole though most of his body.

Trevor than revealed to be very strong, as he lifted the gunman off the ground, using only the hand holding the knife, and threw him down the edge, but Trevor somehow still had the knife in his hand.

* * *

Gunman 1: I am so bore-

Trevor: (comes up from behind and, in a disturbing fashion, stabs the knife into his knife, killing him instantly).

Gunman 2: Oh. Thank god that wasn't m-.

Trevor: (stabs him in the neck, and than in the stomach, brutally killing him).

* * *

Somehow it turned into a full out gunfight.

 _Korn - Somebody someone_ sets the mood as Trevor takes out double pistols and kills them all in the typical Max Payne styled firefights.

* * *

20 long battle later.

* * *

Devin: (in the box) I'd much rather stay in here were it's safe.

Last guard left: It's completely fin-

Trevor: (appears out of nowhere grabbing the guard from behind and violently cutting open his throat with the knife).

Trevor: (bursts open the box and kidnaps Devin).

* * *

Trevor: (throws him in the trunk) Make yourself comfortable, slick!.. (gets in the drivers seat).

Devin; You won't get away with thi-

Trevor: (blasting death metal) Sorry! Can't hear you!

* * *

LATER:

Michael and Packie at waiting at the cliff.

Packie: He's Canadian!?

Michael: Yep. A lonely old Canadian brony who has no life outside this site.

Packie: God! no wonder we're all so screwed up in this verison!

Michael: Yeah.. Soon as I found out. I was ready to put a fuckin bullet in my mouth.

Packie: I don't blame you..

Michael: Yeah, but what can we do.. He's still the one writing this.

Suddenly Trevor and Franklyn arrived.

Michael: So.. You got him Trevor?

Trevor: (opens trunk) Save and sound!

Devin: (gagged, beaten, and in his underwear)

Packie: Well, well... That's a good look for him.

Trevor: (laughs) agreed.

Franklyn: Yeah.. My bad Devin. I picked C.. Ain't that a bitch?

Devin: (swearing under his gag).

Michael: (makes a large speech, witch ends in the four of them throwing the car down the cliff, with Devin still inside).

Trevor: ... Did anybody else get a boner just now?

Packie: what now?

Michael: Now we keep a low profile.. You know... Usual shit.

Franklyn; Could we still hang out together though?

Michael: Damn right we can..

Packie: ... Say, what do you guys do when the screen gose black?

(Screen goes black).

* * *

 **I'll try making an extended ending in the next bits**


	33. Chapter 33

THE NEXT DAY:

* * *

Trevor: (calling Carly as he drives though Sandy shores, to his trailer) I'm sorry for how I was acting... I really mean it this time.

Carly: (voice) Well.. I..

Trevor: Don't you remember the good old days.. Back when I appeared as your school mascot.

* * *

 _FLASHBACK TO WHEN CARLY WAS IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL:_

 _Young Carly: Uncle Trevor?_

 _Trevor: (wearing mascot costume on everything but his head) Hey baby girl.. This time I think I got just the thing people will remember me for. I am gonna stop pollution with my new, lovable character, Gary the No-trash Cougar._

 _Young Carly: Wow.. That IS a good idea actually._

 _Trevor: Damn_ _straight.. The school will love me (puts on the mask, but it reveals to be the type of things NIGHTMARES are made of)._

 _Young Carly: Uncle.. Their only my age.. 7 or 8 years ol-_

 _Trevor: (in the scary costume) Not now Carly.. (cocks AP pistol)._

 _Young Carly: (gasps) Wait, is that a real gu- (Trevor runs into the cafeteria) TREVOR!_

 _Trevor bursts into the cafeteria, with the horrifying costume, and fires a live bullet into the roof to catch the attention of frightened little kids)._

 _Trevor: (violently screaming)_ PICK UP YOUR TRASH!

 _Trevor: (still angry) I wanna know whose cup this is! (shoots his gun into the air) I SAID I WANNA KNOW WHO'S CUP THIS IS!_

 _A frightened little girl timidly raises her hand._

 _Trevor: (points the gun at her) PICK IT UP!.. PICK IT UP! PICK IT UP! PICK IT UP!_

 _The girl, frightened for her life, puts the trash in the garbadge._

 _Trevor: (calmly) Thank you, sweetie. See what a nicer place this is when we all pitch in? Like Gary the No-trash Cougar.. Give a larbage, throw out your garbage. Spread the word! (He fires his gun into the air as he leaves the room)._


	34. Chapter 34

**Most of this scene is reanimating an Simpson episode.**

* * *

9 AND A HALF YEARS AGO:

 _Michael is one the many people standing in line at the North Yankton bank._

 _Michael: Man.. Where's Dr. Kevorkian when you need him?_

 _Lady: Well, if I know doctors, he's probably golfing._

 _Michael: (chuckles) good one._

 _Lady: Thanks mister.. I got 'more' jokes in you want?_

 _Michael: Maybe later._

 _Trevor: (arrives, holding a present box)_

 _Michael: (polite voice to the lady from before) Excuse me for a second.. (suddenly his calm_ _demeanour is changed to an angry one, as he fires a loaded handgun into the air) EVERYONE ON THE FUCKIN FLOOR!_

 _Trevor: (reveals that the present box was REALLY carrying an MP5) THIS IS A ROBBERY!.. (stands closer to Michael) And.. Not a separate robbery we're together._

 _Guard: You mean like a couple?_

 _Trevor: No!.. Well, in a way._

 _Voice: We're being robbed by Johnny and Clyde!_

 _Michael: SHUT UP! (fires more bullets to shut them up)._

* * *

 _Two cops heard the gunfire, and saw Brad run in after being late._

 _Cop: Uh Banson looks like we got an 64-G in progress._

 _Banson: (confused stare)._

 _Cop: Armed robbery with a gun!_

 _Banson: (confused stare)_

 _Cop: (draws picture of a stickman robing another stickman with a pistol) Come on man, you know this._

 _Banson: Ohh, a shooty-stealy!_

* * *

 _Guard: (reaches for alarm)._

 _Trevor: Don't touch that alarm! (shoots it, ironically triggering it) DAMN IT!_

 _Another guard comes in._

 _Guard 2: Ohh I'm so excited, first day as a security guar-_

 _Brad: (panics and shooting guard 2 dead with his AP Pistol)._

 _Guard 2: Crap. (dies)._

 _Brad: (examines the body and begins to panic) Oh shit! Now it's murder man! IT'S MURDER!_

 _Michael: Just rel-_

 _Brad: FUCK THAT! (jumps though the glass window) I WANNA LIVE! (lands on the highway, and gets ran over by a OC Transpo bus)._

 _Michael: SHIT!.. Trevor! Brad is dead!_

 _Trevor: Very funny Michael._

 _Michael: I'm serious, there's pieces of him everywh-_

 _Trevor: (ignores him and points gun at cashier) GIVE ME THE MONEY!_

 _Cashier: (gives him it)._

 _Trevor: (looks in it bt it explodes) AHH! DYE PACK!.. (Trevor_ _tries to get a tissue, but the tissue box is also a dye pack. Enraged, he then hits a bank teller, who turns out to also be a dye pack)._

 _Michael: Is anyone NOT a dye pack?.. Speak now and I won't shoot._

 _Guy: I a- (gets shot in the arm). You sa-_

 _Trevor: I lied._

* * *

 _LATER:_

 _Trevor: This way to the chopper!_

 _Michael: No!.. Stick to the fuckin plan. Follow me.. (suddenly gets shot by sniper).. (poor acting skills) AHH! Lights fading, limbs growing cold.. I see a tunnel.. Must. Move. Toward the light._

 _Trevor: Michael, just hang on._

 _Michael: (poorly imitating_ _Christopher Walken) Mother?.. Is that you?.. Your little boy.. Is coming home!_

 _Trevor: ... How hard did he hit you_ _exactly?_

 _Michael: (whispers) Rose-buds.. (pretends to be dead)._

 _Trevor: Michael.. I see you breathing, cut it ou- (gets shot at)._

 _Trevor: I ain't leaving this spot!_

* * *

 _Trevor ironically is running as far away from the spot as he_ _could._

 _Trevor: (sees Carly) Trevor has to leave a bit.. But I promise.. I'll still be the same man when I return, not try to kill you, at, all.. You know.. Unless you date a biker, then ALL bets are off!_

* * *

 ** _THE END_**


End file.
